first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize