Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize