There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
