Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
