That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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