At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
