she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
