I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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