he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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