yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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