dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
