i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
