I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
