i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
