so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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