Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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