he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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