don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
