Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Shame - the story of my life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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