i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize