fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
