I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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