i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
