i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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