He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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