got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
