There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
