Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
