So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
