im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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