You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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