I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
