Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
