happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
