is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober