hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Every concussion has its silver lining
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.