Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
