I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
