Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
