somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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