well I can't set my house on fire every night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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