this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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