I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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