i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How does it feel to date your dad?
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