WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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