True but thats because hes a fetus.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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