worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
should my penis look like a turkey
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
