i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So much Jack, so little girl.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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