No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
