they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
