Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
