I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize