That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
