Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
