I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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