im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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