oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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