I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
