Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He did a backflip because drugs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
